Sweet and Bitter
by Azecreth
Summary: Locked in the endless cycles that define her, all Homura could do was drink, and hope it numbed the pain of remembering. KyoHomu or MadoHomu, I dunno. Oneshot.


_*Click* Whirrrr..._

Lavender eyes flickered open to see the sterile white of the hospital room's ceiling, a familiar sight that struck deep, since seeing it again only meant one thing. In spite of her self assigned mission and in spite of her duty, it took a maximum effort of will to rise to a sitting position and face the all too familiar environment that surrounded her, the start of yet another repeat of the same hellish month.

Her hand, and gaze, flew to the purple gem that now housed her soul, making sure it was intact and unsullied from the fight before the reset. She didn't have the time to go hunting now if it was. Fortunately, it was clear. Next, red rimmed glasses, no longer needed thanks to the magic that coursed through her body, were placed on the nearby nightstand, to be forgotten and tossed away, like her old self.

Up from the bed she rose with a held in sigh, black hair cascading down to be flipped behind her shoulder almost automatically as a matter of habit. On steady feet she moved away towards the door, glancing in the mirror to affix the neutral, emotionless mask that she had taken to wearing so long ago. She was cold fire, she was steel. She had no time for distracting emotions, not when there was so much to be done. If she was to succeed, she needed to be unwavering, unbreaking. And all those things Homura would be.

She left the hospital at a brisk walk, an old routine that she could do with her eyes closed if she had to. What truly occupied her mind at the moment was Madoka. Always Madoka. She had to plan out the coming month, incorporate her most recent tragic experiences into the plan, account for variables and adjust her strategy, all for the small chance that this might be it, the time she finally succeeded.

Before she realized it, she was back at her home, the journey having gone by in a blur. Deft and steady fingers found the emergency house key beneath the pot of wilting lilies, the flowers having no one to tend to them while she was in the hospital. She would have to do something about that soon. The key was brought to the door and allowed her entry into her sanctum and veritable lair. It was dusty and empty, as she remembered it form all the timelines before, but not for long.

Priorities set, she got to work. Setting up a map, making sure her school uniforms were in good order, all done with time honed familiarity. She had a lot of preparing to do for Walpurgisnacht, and to keep Madoka safe and human for the duration of the month. But she would not fail. Not again.

* * *

_Later that month_

The door slammed shut with a slightly louder than normal click, an audible sign that Homura was alone and thus had permission to vent what she kept bottled up inside. A fist slammed into the wall, shaking under the impact as her head bowed forward, tears threatening at the corners of her eyes.

Everything was going wrong. Again. Sayaka was hellbent on racing to her own destruction, Mami was an inch away from a mental breakdown, Madoka was almost as determined as Sayaka to martyr herself and renounce her humanity so she wouldn't be a supposed burden to her friends, Kyoko was aggravatingly confrontational, and Kyubey was...well, Kyubey. It took everything she had to juggle all these balls, and since even with time magic she couldn't be in all the places she should at the same time. Sooner or later, something was going to give.

She could practically see already how it would turn out. Sayaka would fall and become a witch, Mami would break upon seeing it or just knowing, leaving Homura and Kyoko to stop Walpurgisnacht and save Madoka, but if Kyoko made it to that night (which was a big 'if' given what she knew of the redhead), their strength wouldn't be enough, Madoka would contract, and she would have to start all over again. Just like last time.

Her face twisted into a growl of determination as she stepped into the main room, glancing up at the swaying chandelier to remind herself of her mission while clamping down on her burgeoning emotions. She knew what was going to happen that well, then she should plan for it and try to stop it, or minimize the damage. That was what she did, that was her advantage. Screw Fate or 'karmic destiny,' as Kyubey called it. They thought she couldn't win, that she was doomed form the beginning. Well, she would show them. Emotions were restrained, contained, subjugated, as Homura went over to the map of Mitakihara to plan out the nights hunt, then just as rapidly departed the white room.

Despite the time loop, there were always variations, oscillations, factors of random chance that would always come out different even if she did everything exactly the same. The location and power of the witches that appeared was one of those things. It required compensation to take that into account, but even then they were relatively easy for Homura to dispatch, and their Grief Seeds were quickly added to her growing collection. She would need them all soon enough.

The ease was a double edged sword. It gave her mind time to reflect on the problems at hand which allowed her to prepare the upcoming stages of her plan. But this night it only cut her, made her remember how it was going wrong with seeming inevitability yet again. And her emotions threatened to remove themselves from the dark corner she had shoved them in.

Another labyrinth vanished in a hail of bullets and explosions, and after pocketing the Grief Seed Homura made the decision to call it a night. In her mental state she was distracted and not operating at peak efficiency, which could be dangerous if an anomalous witch showed up that she was unprepared for.

It was as she was walking back to her home that a thought came to her, rational mind working on solutions to the emotional issues she seemed to be having given the downward spiral of this timeline and the abysmal failure of the last. Perhaps it was the club she passed on the other side of the street, but she was reminded of something Junko Kaname had said a lifetime ago (She had been invited over, and was definitely not stalking. That time.) 'Life is pretty tough for us adults, but that's why we have alcohol.' How that would help her situation Homura wasn't sure, but she was willing to try anything at this point, and some quick math confirmed that she was past the legal drinking age, mentally at least.

With the ability to stop time and infinite storage space, stealing a few bottles from a convenience store was hardly a challenge. Drinks appropriated for the greater good, she returned home. She took the necessary precautions before beginning this experiment; locking the doors and windows, laying out some grief seeds just in case, hiding her firearms from herself, returning her Soul Gem to ring form, that sort of thing.

Ready now, she sat down to inspect her finds. It was sake, nothing special, and probably wasn't even that good considering where she had gotten it from and her lack of experience in choosing out drinks.

Taking a few deep breaths, she took the plunge, pulling off the top before raising the bottle to pursed lips to take a swig. Liquid swished about in her mouth so she could get a good taste before completing the journey down to her stomach.

An eyebrow rose in slight surprise. It was...sweet. With something of a kick at the end. Not what she had been expecting. She considered it for a few seconds before deciding that the beverage was acceptable. After all, she could handle any discomfort that arose as a result.

So she drank, small sips quickly growing larger as she became accustomed to the taste, and as the bottle in her hands grew lighter and tipped back further and further to allow more drink to spill forth.

The empty bottle sailed away to land with a thud on the carpet in the corner as Homura contemplated having another. Unsure as she was to the maximum effects of drinking alcohol, she was starting to see the appeal of the activity, though in turn she had the sneaking suspicion that magic was playing a part in resisting it's effects. Which was a good thing in most circumstances, but it wasn't what she wanted right now.

Well, there was only one solution to that dilemma that she could see. A new bottle quickly entered her grasp, and she swiftly opened it and began to drink, stopping just as quickly to check the label. It was bitter, acidic, but it lit a burning path down her throat to her stomach. It hurt, but she was used to pain.

Another bottle vanished to join the first, leaving behind an increasingly dissatisfied and muddled Homura. The drinks helped, that she could say. They gave her something to focus on, like the peculiarities and layers of the bitter taste in her mouth as she drank from another bottle to add to the growing collection. But even the drinks couldn't stop the emotions the memories, in spite of her best efforts. Forget her parents, there was just 'The Month' Good memories came and went, of the five of them happy together, back when she could actually laugh, so far from the cold warrior she was now.

Those slipped away quickly, darkness coming in their place. Gunfire, explosions, pained cries and tears. Oh so many tears. Friends falling again, and again, and again, sometimes by the hands of Witches, sometimes by those they considered to be friends, and sometimes by her own power. And all Homura could do was drink and hope it numbed the pain of remembering. One bottle, two, more, she lost track as the night passed by.

* * *

Kyoko smirked to herself as she fished the spare key for Homura's house from the stone statue that marked the spot where the lilies had been. Mami had booted her out to get some wok done without distractions, on threat of getting less food, and since Homura had offered to put her up for the month as part of their cooperation against Walpurgisnacht, she decided that she would take her up on that offer now.

Door unlocked once she removed the bolt with a quick swipe of her spear (She'd fix it later. Honest), it slammed open with brash disregard for the thought that people might be inside at the moment, and Kyoko strode in with a confident swagger that said she owned the place, at least for the moment. Her stomach growled in near perpetual hunger, and said hunger was given full attention and consideration as she first located and raided the kitchen.

Well, 'raided' was a very generous term. It would have been more appropriate here if Kyoko had found anything to take beyond some snack foods, microwave dinners, and high calorie, low preparation meals that gave her the feeling that they didn't taste very good.

"Geez, how does she even live like this," Kyoko grumbled to herself as she rummaged through cabinets and the fridge, pulling out choice items to be tossed in a grocery bag she had produced from one of her pockets.

An apple in hand, she left the kitchen with her haul, biting at it while she walked along. It was then, at last, that she noticed the indications that someone might be home at the moment, though it was strange that Homura hadn't found her if she was here. Still, she followed the lights back to the main room, where a familiar black haired girl could be found sitting. She had missed it the first time she passed by, but Kyoko had her priorities.

A large chunk was removed from the apple by sharp teeth as Kyoko walked into the room, quickly identifying the figure sitting there. "Yo, Akemi, you're running low on food," she announced as she stepped close, hefting the bag in a tight hold.

But as she neared, she began to notice that something was off. While Homura wasn't exactly a ball of sunshine on the best of days, she wasn't giving off positive vibes either, head bowed with hair cascading down haphazardly. She seemed to have missed or not noticed Kyoko's presence, attention instead focused on a small puddle in which she was tracing patterns with her index finger.

This, understandably, weirded Kyoko out a bit, and she began to beat a hasty retreat before something happened that resulted in pain for her. She had enough of that as it was dealing with Sayaka "Well, thanks for the food. Catch yah later," she called out over her shoulder as she moved to depart the house.

In her loud haste, she almost missed the silent voice that called after her. "Don't go."

She did hear it though, if barely, and it was enough to bring her to a halt. "Hm," she asked, head tilting back to look at Homura, who still had her gaze on the ground.

"Don't go. Everyone leaves. They always leave me in the end." Her gaze turned upwards to catch Kyoko's and she was frankly shocked by what she saw. Homura Akemi was crying, eyes glistening and tear tracks visible on her cheeks. Homura 'What is this thing you call emotions' Akemi, was _crying_. "Please don't leave me."

Kyoko's eyes widened and her jaw dropped, nearly losing her grip on her bag of food. Homura never cried, was never this emotional, and never said 'please' The odds of her doing so were up there with 'the world flipping on it's axis,' 'Mami making bad cake', and 'Sayaka saying something smart'. It didn't happen. Ever. She was half wondering if she had stumbled into a witches barrier or was hallucinating, though a quick and painful pinch prove that she wasn't simply dreaming. Admittedly she had better things to dream of than this, but it was worth checking.

After a few seconds of struggle on whether to bolt or not, Kyoko gave in and walked back to the main room. She stood over Homura, leaning over her and looking her over in turn. "You alright Akemi," she asked, the evidence of slight concern in her voice. "Pinkie didn't dump you or something, did she?"

Normally that would have earned her a withering glare, or even a hit, but to her surprise Homura didn't respond to the jibe, her gaze returning to her shoes and the floor. "I'm weak. I thought I was strong enough to save her, to save everyone. But I'm not and I can't protect anyone and they leave me so I can try and fail again."

Kyoko sat down, puzzled and confused though she might not show it. "What are you talking about?"

Homura continued on, almost ignoring her entirely. "There's only this month. My month. The only month that means anything. The month of fear, and pain, and death. So much death. Again and again and again." She looked at Kyoko again, tears falling freely now as she cried, voice trembling as if in a silent plea for an answer Kyoko didn't have. "Why can't I save her? Why can't I save any of you? What am I doing wrong?"

Still somewhat lost, though she had the beginning of some understanding, Kyoko tried to rectify the problem, laying a hand on Homura's shoulder while dialing up her voice to her natural volume of 'loud and obnoxious'. "Akemi, what are you talking about?"

A slight, yet sad, smile filtered out to Homura's face as she heard Kyoko's question, and as that question brought her back to the memories of a time long gone by. "Madoka Kaname," she replied, failing to keep some semblance of reverence from her tone in saying the name. "She saved my life before I became a Puella Magi. She died protecting this city from Walpurgisnacht. Died protecting me. Weak little me, who didn't deserve the kindness she had to give. She's why I'm a Puella Magi. And she made me promise to keep her from becoming a Puella Magi in turn."

Kyoko nodded, understanding a bit more about why Homura was so attached to Pinkie...Madoka, though how this had happened was something of a mystery, and was only possible with, like, time travel, right? Though, her magic was somewhat time based, so it wasn't beyond reason. Still, it was difficult to wrap her head around. Thinking about it, she was distracted enough to be taken by surprise as there was a flare of light beside her and Homura leapt to her feet, whirling about to point at...a light, anger etched onto her face.

"You lied to me Incubator," she aid, eyes sharp and cutting, though the dual headed white lamp couldn't return the favor. It was an act that restored whatever confusion had just so recently departed. What was she doing? "I was supposed to be strong enough to protect her, to protect all of them. To save them from what I knew was going to happen. But I'm not, and I haven't. Why haven't you granted my wish?"

In the blink of an eye, a pistol had been removed from her shield and was now trained on the light she had just so recently been talking to. Kyoko blinked in stunned confusion, while wondering what she meant by the name 'Incubator'. Who was that? Given what she said, it could only be Kyubey, but he'd never used that name with them. Something was up here. But keeping Homura from testing her marksmanship skills on the light fixture was the priority right now.

"Homura, those are just lights," she pointed out. "And we're perfectly capable of protecting ourselves you know."

With a sigh, Homura lowered her weapon, much to Kyoko's relief. She looked down at the weapon, feeling the comfortable weight of the firearm in her grip. Still, the way she was looking at it, it didn't give Kyoko a good feeling, Homura having the sort of look that she had only seen once before, just before... "You, all of you, you always die and I have to do it over again. If I was strong I wouldn't have to. But I'm not strong, not like you or Mami, or even Madoka. I'm just a weak girl trying to play hero."

The gun shook as her hands trembled, tears beading out yet again. "For every wish there's an equal amount of despair, right? I wished for the impossible, and I've suffered for it. I make you all suffer again and again and again just so I can have my life mean something." There was a sudden shift in demeanor and her eyes hardened. "I can't do it again. I won't. Let this dream end the only way it can."

Kyoko rose to her feet, fear permeable in the air as Homura raised the gun to the side of her head, finger on the trigger and expression giving off accepting resignation. She was aware that if Homura froze time then there would be no stopping her, but Kyoko was not going to let this happen. "No," she yelled as she dove forward to wrench the gun away at the last second without much of a struggle, and tossed it across the room, far away from the two of them. She breathed a sigh of relief as the immediate danger passed, all the more concerned for Homura.

Homura, on the other hand, was very confused as her fingers worked at a trigger that was no longer there, requiring her to pull her hand away to confirm the gun was indeed gone. She seemed disappointed, but that lasted only for a second before she broke out into a laugh, disconcerting for Kyoko who had never heard Homura laugh. Ever. It was like the laugh of someone on the brink of sanity, and that didn't make her any less worried. "Of course I can't die," she muttered in between laughs. "I'm not human anymore. Just an empty shell with her soul in a trinket, doomed to repeat this month forever unto eternity until either my Soul Gem breaks or I become a Witch." That earned a particularly poignant chuckle. "That would be fitting, eh Madoka?"

From ring form, her Soul Gem materialized in her palm. She stared at it, purple dancing across her eyes as she did so, while Kyoko tried to understand what Homura meant by 'become a Witch'. That wasn't how it worked, was it? "All this power, and I can't even save the few people I care about. I'm worse than Miki Sayaka. At least she had a chance." She sighed. "I can't fight fate, not any more. Homura Akemi should just vanish." Nonchalantly, she tossed her Soul Gem over her shoulder and didn't give it a second glance, instead sitting back down and reaching for another bottle.

Behind her, Kyoko's eyes widened yet again, reacting in a somewhat panic as the purple gem flew through the air. Fortunately, she was able to catch it and it didn't get harmed in the process, but now she was just getting frustrated. "Oy, what are you doing," she said angrily to Homura, who had her back turned.

Looking at the Soul Gem, she could see a surprising amount of blackness swirling around inside the usually clear crystal. It explained her mood, but it was at a level that Kyoko had never before seen it at. Seemed tonight was all about firsts and revelations. "Baka," she growled under her breath as she looked around.

Fortunately, a quick scan found her the pile of Grief Seeds that Homura had prepared before, and Kyoko moved over to the table, placing the Soul Gem down and applying one Seed, then another, under the last traces of darkness shad been cleansed. That was left on the table as she moved away, in the process seeing the source of this trouble. _No, not Homura too_

Turning back to Homura, she saw her in the process of downing another bottle straight up, an act that didn't help Kyoko's boiling blood. No, she was not going to let Homura do this to herself. She was not going to let what happened to her father happen again. She stomped over and tore the bottle away in mid swig, a bit of drink spilling out to land on the furniture while Homura blinked in confusion, and the half filled bottle joined the others.

Returning, Kyoko sat down and fished angrily through her bag, grabbing a handful of salted pretzels in the hope that that would calm her down while Homura looked at her hands despondently. "Look Akemi, I get that you're a time traveler with some self assigned mission to protect Pinkie, but have a little faith in us. We're tougher than we look. And we aren't going to leave you if we can help it. I mean, I'm here now ain't I?"

Homura sniffled, gaze shifting to the red head. "But, you all die, and then you don't remember me. And it hurts and I don't know how to make it stop."

Kyoko paused in mid bite, pondering an answer. She gave Homura a rueful smile as she continued. "The pain doesn't really stop, I guess. You just get used to it, learn to live with it, and try to keep it from becoming too much. Thsat's what friends are for, to help you deal with stuff like this." Now it was her turn to avert her gaze. "You can only keep stuff locked up so long, especially when you've got the kind of baggage I'm guessing you have."

"But..none of you ever believe me until it's too late."

Kyoko nodded in agreement. "Yep. To be honest, not sure I believe half of anything you've said right now. But I don't want to see you end up like my father. I mean, you're supposed to be the voice of reason in our group. Who'd I have a sane conversation with if you're gone."

Homura sniffled yet again, hand rising to rub at her eyes , while also edging slightly closer to the warmth that Kyoko put out, even though she looked nervous about it. "How did you...How did you not give up when your family died?"

Kyoko didn't remember telling Homura about her family, but that must have happened in one of her past lives (If time travel worked that way) So she rolled with what Homura knew. "I changed. I decided that I was gonna survive no matter what and prove my father wrong about being a devil's accomplice or something like that. So I changed myself. Take no prisoners, do what you have to do, stuff like that."

Homura frowned, a heart wrenching look with her tear stained face. "But, I did that too. I...I spent years trying to save her, to save all of you. I learned how to fight, how to do what I had to do to keep Madoka alive." She averted her gaze then. "I tried to stop caring. You were all expendable, as long as Madoka survived. That was all that mattered. That's what I told myself, but it still hurts. Every single time it hurts. I don't know how to make it stop, and it's not fair for me to make you all suffer because of me." Lips curled in a way that showed her self hatred. "I should have accepted fate. But I can't, I just can't. And now I'm causing even more suffering."

Letting out a hum amidst her mouthful of pretzels, Kyoko took a second to replenish her handful of snacks before answering in turn. "Hey, let's not make this a pity party or anything. My life's not exactly rainbows and sunshine either, but I don't remember suffering cause of you. Whatever my other selves did, it was their choice, so it's their fault, not yours. You didn't bring any suffering on them that they didn't choose to have. You don't have shoulder the weight of the world's crimes or anything. We've got our flaws, but the four of us are here too."

Kyoko shifted slightly closer to pat Homura on the back. "As my father said, none of us can do it alone. We've gotta work together to make a better world for everyone. I mean, I tried going it alone, and I'm not exactly a model citizen, now am I." She flashed her fangs in a grin at that point. "We may forget you because of those time travel shenanigans or whatever, but it's still us. We can work with you if you give us the chance."

Homura's brow furrowed as she dug through memories, trying to find one in particular, and as something clicked her head dipped forward to rest in cupped hands near her lap as she moaned. "God, I've been such a horrible person to everyone. I deserve my suffering."

Kyoko shook her head in fierce rejection. "You did what you had to do. I can't speak on how much of a jerk you might have been, though I can guess, but I'd probably have done the same thing. Well, actually not. I don't do 'mysterious badass' very well."

This she knew for a fact. She'd tried multiple times to replicate the glare Homura had that seemed to cut right to the core and shut you up instantly, or the one that conveyed her complete disinterest in whatever you had to say, but she always ended up giving herself a headache. And however it was she managed to sneak up on people with no one noticing. Eventually she had decided that silence wasn't her style, and she much prefer just whacking people with her spear.

It seemed to have some reaction though as Homura looked up, some light coming back into her visage. "Really?"

Kyoko nodded with her trademark grin. "Well, you're not as awesome as me, obviously, but you're practically the brains of this entire four person operation. Not that Mami ain't smart, but you've got the whole strategy stuff down pat. If it weren't for you we wouldn't even know Walpurgisnacht was coming. Not to mention those time stop powers. What's cooler than that?"

Not much. Kyoko had considered what she would do if she had them, but most of it boiled down to pranking people and stealing food. Better it was in Homura's possession.

Homura sniffled, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I...I guess," she agreed, somewhat reluctantly.

Kyoko continued. "And you've got that shield that can hold practically everything. That's gotta be incredibly handy." Kyoko had thought of what she'd do with that too, most of it coming down to storing food.

Homura nodded slowly, slipping a tad closer to Kyoko, with previous embarrassment fading. "I guess."

Present handful of snacks finished, Kyoko switched back to an apple. "You're pretty good at fighting Witches too. Get all of us rolling together, and even Walpurgisnacht won't have a chance. Trust me." She took a large chunk out of the apple to punctuate her point.

Deep down in her rational mind, Homura knew that Kyoko was lying at best. She had no idea what Walpurgisnacht was really like, the sheer power and force the Witch possessed. There was no way to prepare someone for that. Confronted with it, her words would fall away empty and hollow. But she also appreciated the effort that the spear wielder was putting into cheering her up, and her emotional side truly wanted to believe, to think that she and Kyoko could stop everything from going wrong, and that this time would be the last, at last. "Promise," she asked shakily.

Kyoko nodded confidently. "Promise."

That seemed to satisfy Homura at least for the moment, who fell silent and all too soon found herself swaying back and forth as weariness and sleep deprivation caught up to her from the long day. This was brought to Kyoko's attention as well when she suddenly found herself being used as a brace for a droopy eyes Homura.

"Alright, bed time it is then,' Kyoko muttered to herself as she helped Homura to her feet and supported her as they walked down the hall to the darkened bedroom. At least the bed seemed comfortable as she helped the drowsy Puella Magi into bed and beneath the covers.

She moved to leave the time traveler to her rest then, but found herself held in place by Homura's surprisingly strong grip. "Please stay. I don't want the memories to come back."

Kyoko winced a bit as she paused in her motion. Geez, Homura had a tight grip. Much as she would be in trouble for this later, probably, she just couldn't say no to the obviously needing girl. "Fine," she conceded reluctantly, moving around and crawling onto the other side of the bed. Homura rotated to face her and smiled, which brought back some of Kyoko's own memories of a happier time, of her sister...

"Night," she said aloud, but Homura's eyes had already dropped shut and she was sleeping. Kyoko grinned to herself and closed her eyes to do the same. It had been a long night.

.

.

.

.

.

Kyoko had one great nemesis; Her stomach. It's rumbling arose her from her light sleep to demand attention and sustenance. It was a tune she was all too familiar with.

Ruby eyes flickered open and acclimated to the dark as she tried to leave bed to fulfill her need. But she found herself unable to, the reason quickly apparent as she found herself able to see. One or both of them had shifted closer to the other, and now Kyoko found Homura grabbing onto her clothes, head buried in Kyoko's chest, black hair scattered about. A tint of red stained the red heads cheeks as she beheld the scene, embarrassing yet attractive at the same time.

This was one of those moments when she wished she had a camera for posterities sake. The contented smile on Homura's face was one she probably wouldn't see again. She also found it hard to avoid breathing the aroma that wafted off the sleeping girl, of gunpowder, sweat, and flowers. It was odd, but it was strangely addictive to the action oriented Kyoko.

"M...Mado...Madoka," Homura mumbled in her sleep as she nestled closer to Kyoko, bringing a warm smile to her face and slightly jealous feeling to Kyoko's chest.

"Pinkie's lucky to have you," she whispered to herself with no answer needed or gotten. Hunger forgotten by the sight, she closed her eyes and slumped back down, falling into the embrace of sleep, drawing on the warmth beside her.

* * *

Kyoko awoke and her heart nearly stopped in mid beat. It was a common enough effect, given that the first thing she saw when her eyes opened was the emotionless mask of Homura Akemi glaring at her.

"Sakura Kyoko, you are in my bed," she said in a dull monotone, one that somehow managed to get across anger and accusation in it.

Wondering what the problem was, Kyoko's gaze traveled downwards, and she practically leapt off the bed with full flushed embarrassment as she saw how close their legs had come to tangling like the sheets currently were, much less how they seemed to have molded themselves together in their sleep, though Homura's current stiffness indicated that that wasn't a completely accurate representation of what they had been like.

Still, she had let Kyoko sleep upon finding out, rather than waking her up and giving her the boot or shooting at her. It was odd, at least from Kyoko's perspective. Was she still feeling some effect from last night, and being nicer for a change? "You're the one who asked me to, baka," she shot back, righteous indignation filling her tone.

Homura ignored that and rose from the bed with characteristic simple elegance. She decided that it was a bit late and too much effort to remove Kyoko from her home at this point, so she could stay. She went to take a cold water shower then, to wake her up and remember what had happened last night, why her head was fuzzy.

She stood in the middle of the tub, head bowed so water could cascade down her form, hands working automatically to apply lotion and shampoo to her black hair. It was something she didn't consider, and thus it gave her time to think. The cold water provided a shock to her system, small, but it woke her up fully and some magical help brought back those memories of last night.

She sighed as it all came back, mentally berating herself. She had let her emotions get control of her yet again, and it had gone wrong. So many secrets revealed, so many things that shouldn't have been said yet. Too many variables had been added to her plans by her carelessness, and now she had to cope. It would have been one thing for this to be Sayaka, who would probably have dismissed what she said out of hand, But this was Kyoko, who might actually believe it, and might actually tell people.

She shook her head. She had to make sure this affected as little as possible. Revelations had to be contained to prevent deviations. Kyoko could not tell anyone of what had happened or been said here, lest it cause a premature collapse into despair by Mami or Sayaka. She had seen it before. She knew it would happen. Panic and anger were subsumed into calm determination as she took these new events into consideration. She would adapt as she always had. There was no choice.

Surprisingly, Kyoko was still there when she emerged with dry hair and wearing her Mitakihara school uniform. Time stop magic was useful like that. Kyoko's self confidence appeared to have returned, and she followed Homura to the kitchen, where she stood leaning against a counter and watching Homura popped a few pre made waffles into the toaster. Homura noted the missing food in her fridge, but seemed used to Kyoko's eating habits, and she made a note to visit the grocery store and restock before the redhead's next visit. Meanwhile, Kyoko struggled with what to say, uncharacteristic for her, but this wasn't exactly a usual situation she found herself in. It was hard to compare the usual Homura to the one she saw last night, and it was throwing her off her game.

Fortunately or not, Homura spoke first with her back turned. "Tell anyone what happened last night, and I will kill you."

Kyoko snorted from where she stood with arms folded. "You're bluffing."

Homura looked back at her then, giving her a glare that sent a chill through her bones. "Am I?"

Kyoko decided to not push the point and let the matter rest, though not without her own answer. "Hmph, like I'd tell anyway. It'd ruin my image if people found out I was playing therapist for you."

"You're not my therapist," was the smooth response.

"Sure, whatever." Kyoko paused, gaze hardening in turn as she made her own demand. " If I ever find you like that again I'll beat the hell out of you and leave you for 'ms Justice' to try and fix. I'm not gonna lose anyone else because of that stupid drink."

Homura nodded, if only slightly. "It was a miscalculation on my part. It will not happen again." That was for sure, especially if it made her become an emotional wreck.

"Good." Kyoko bit at her lip, stomach rumbling at the smell of cooking waffles, even if she knew they wouldn't taste that good. "Look Akemi, I don't claim to understand half the stuff you said last night, but it's obvious that you've got serious issues. While I might not be the picture of mental and emotional fortitude myself, but I'm not going to let your issues get in the way of that Grief Seed you promised me. So if you wanna talk or have a therapeutic ass kicking, just let me know."

Homura didn't respond, instead directing her attention to retrieving her waffles, and Kyoko took that as her cue to leave, while fishing a fruit bar form her pocket to make up for the waffles. "Don't give up on us so easily Homura. We're not exactly wilting flowers," she called over her shoulder as she left the room.

Homura paused for a brief fraction of a second in mid action, letting the words sink in. They were folly and ill spoken, she knew that. At the end of the day, when all of them had fallen or turned, she could only rely on herself. But there might be some truth to what Kyoko said. She had tailored her plans so much around doing everything herself, trying to protecting everyone herself. Maybe she should trust that they could protect themselves as much as she could protect them in turn. She had to have hope, have faith that there was some light at the end of this tunnel, no matter how distant. And if it was there, she would reach it. She would not give up so easily. Not after all she had seen and done. That was a cowards way out, and she was no coward. One way or another, she would triumph.

"Thank you Kyoko," she said softly.

Missing that, Kyoko quickly poked her head back in. "Also, you're pretty cute when you're asleep."

"...Get out."


End file.
